She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
This toilet bowl is my home.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
