omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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