how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
