season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
