haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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