Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
