Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
