I hate your face
ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
