what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
