Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
