His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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