I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'm sobbing to NWA
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
