dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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