some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
