another moral hangover. fuck.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
