is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
