He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
tell me about the eggs
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
