I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Randomize
