Your face is a jimmy john
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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