i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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