I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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