Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
