yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
