wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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