Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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