im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
