Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
