I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
