I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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