ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
