A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
