4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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