As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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