I got chris browned last night
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
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