Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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