It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Randomize
