oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
