someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
