I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Randomize
