umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
