honey bunches of taint.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
