We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
