Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
