Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
