Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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