She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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