oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
