Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
