You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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