I think my vagina is haunted
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
