i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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