shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
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