yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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